An Outsiders View

Hi Everyone. This is Rachel.



I flew in on Tuesday for "vacation". What was supposed to be an enjoyable vacation has quickly become one of sadness with the inevitable knowledge that this will be the last bit of time that I spend with Nana before , as she terms it, goes home.



If you haven't seen Nana lately, the shock factor is enormous. The bruising on her face from her fall is bad, but it is the confusion, hallucinations, uncontrolled body movements, incontinence and basic mental disconnect that make it hard to even recognize her as a the vibrant, funny, active woman that she has been her entire life.



Bonnie, my mother, has seen the gradual decline in the past few months and has had time to acclimate. Even she is disturbed at how quickly Nana has gone downhill in the past week. It's as if her Alzheimer's has gone from zero to sixty within a week.



She is able to recognize loved ones, but she quickly fades back into her confusion, frequently referring to Lloyd, her husband who passed in the early 1980's. She constantly sees bugs on the walls and often talks about babies and a little girl who is in the room that only she can see. She insists on getting out of the bed to use the toilet about every 5 minutes. Because she is extremely unsteady on her feet and will fall without assistance, they decided to put a catheter back in and also may have to add a restraint system that prevents her from getting out of the bed without constricting her movements in the bed during the night. Laymans terms for the restraints is a posey vest (sp).



Without having a lot of medical knowledge, it seems that her time with us will be shorter than any of us had hoped. Even if her body is alive, her mind is quickly going. She hasn't lost her stubborness though. She is argumentative and rarely will listen the first time. She has to be told multiple times to do even the simplest of tasks. The penchant for pulling her oxygen tubes and IV's is a constant cause for frustration.



Nana is constantly moving. Shaking, wiggling, shivering it seems that she is always moving. Her legs jerk a lot and I tell her that her feet are happy and trying to dance. I will get an occasional smile when I tell her that. Some of the movement are reminicent of Parkinson's but she doesn't have that. They don't know why she is so shaky.



Devon is scared to see her. Although he has been here a few times it makes him sad and he cries when he leaves. He knows that this is the last time that he will see her but it is very upsetting for him to see his Nana so sick. He says that he finds comfort knowing that God will take her to a better place and that she won't hurt anymore.



As much as I have tried to accurately describe what it is like to see her, nothing will really prepare you. You might want to come see her sooner rather than later. It seems to get worse and worse every day.